17 December, 2010

Saturn Girl selling Telepathic Telecommunications

With Legion financier R.J.Brande dead, the Legion of Super Heroes has fallen on hard times. Desperation has every Lad, Lass, Boy and Girl doing their part to keep the Legion afloat. You'll remember last month Super-Boy and Sensor Girl organized the 'Heroes For Hire'. I tried in vain to get a statement from Super-Boy about this questionable venture. After several attempts he finally replied, "Relax pops... I'll do it AFTER we count this beautiful cash!" And who can forget Matter-Eater Lad's Sklarian Pirate fiasco.

But not all Legion members have resorted to such inane measures. Brainiac 5 sells home-scale versions of 'COMPUTer Operation Systems' or COMPUTOS for short. Timber Wolf is currently working as Querl's complaint department. As yet, no complains have come in.

Probably most shocking of all are the commercial ads for Telepathic Telecommunication Earplugs featuring Imra Ardeen. She's dyed her hair and slightly altered her costume but it's clearly Saturn Girl. Times must really be tough for this Legion lass who once claimed she'd never 'sell out'.

"When I'm out riding the Saturn Cycle, I like to keep in touch with family and friends. But fumbling with an archaic phone is out of the question."

"That's why I use Telepathic Telecommunication Earplugs. Hands-free and virtually invisible. See? Pick yours up where ever telecommunications are sold."

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