25 July, 2012

Who Is Tardis Mechanic?

WHO is Tardis Mechanic? That seems to be the question everyone is asking. Though the music can be called superb, where do they get the inspiration? So very little is actually known about this mysterious band who have been around for close to 50 years.

They first appeared in 1963 to a sold out crowd in London. Sources say Tardis Mechanic paid for the use of the music venue. What's even more outrageous is all the tickets to the show were given out free. Who came up with this marketing strategy and how it was able to work is unknown. They became an overnight success.

Still playing to this day, not one of them looks as if they have aged. Then there are the mysterious tragedies that follow them around. Or to be more precise, the near tragedies that follow them around. It seems each show is followed sometime soon by a weird occurrence that oddly enough, works itself out. Their first show on 23 November, 1963 was soon followed by reports of televisions exploding. This only resulted in two deaths, but could have affected millions of people, paralysing the London area. It was later discovered the TV's should have all exploded, but for some unknown reason, did not. Somehow each TV had been fitted with an explosive device that was somehow deactivated remotely. A feat not technically viable at the time.

But I digress, I only wanted to stress how Tardis Mechanic has had an eerie connection to strange occurrences. Again I ask, who is Tardis Mechanic? Why are they rarely seen off stage? And how do all four of them squeeze into such a small box at the end of each of their shows?

The Band Members
Name: Tyrone
Born: Unknown. When asked, he laughs and says he hasn't been born yet,
and that he'll explain later.
Instrument: Guitar
Demeanour: He appears to be a fun loving bloke, though always evasive.
Notes: He gives out little to no information about himself. Any knowledge we do have, always comes from his companions, whom he calls the Tardettes. He is highly intelligent and a master at history and predicting the future. He once told his audience to buy lottery tickets using the numbers 4, 8, 15, 16, 23 & 42. This crippled the local lottery board. After investigation into the matter he actually did more good than harm when it was found out the lotteries were being fixed and monies being funnelled into an off-shore account, funding a terrorist group.

Name: Verity
Born: 1935 - London
Instrument: Vocals
Demeanour: Reserved, but determined. She's the go-getter of the group.
Notes: It's unlikely she's as old as she says she is. Being born in 1935 would make her 77 years old. If you ask me, she doesn't look a day over 35. Out of the three Tardettes, Verity is the most tight-lipped, often shushing other band members when she feels they've said too much. Of all the band members, she seems to be the mother-hen. Her voice is truly melodic, which has given her the nickname Melody.

Name: Kara
Born: 1970 - Chicago.
Instrument: Bass
Demeanour: Wild, carefree and loquacious.
Notes: Of the three girl members, seems to be the "Loose Cannon". She's always willing to talk about the bands exploits, but rarely gets the chance. Verity seems to keep a close eye on her. Looks to be the one closest to her unsubstantiated age. Being born in 1970 makes her about 42, yet still looks like she's in her early 20's. Kara is a diva on the bass. During one interview, when Verity wasn't around, she claimed to have performed with Janis Joplin. An obvious fabrication since Joplin died the same year Kara was born.

Name: Gillian
Born: 1955 - Liverpool.
Instrument: Drums
Demeanour: Quiet and yet perky at the same time.
Notes: Her birth claims make her 57 years, and yet she looks to be the youngest of the trio of Tardettes. Physically, she looks like a 17 year old. Outside of her age claims, little is known about her as she usually lets the other girls do the talking during pre and post show interviews. It's amazing that for someone so quiet and seemingly shy, she's always lively and energetic during each show. Her prowess on the drums is truly amazing. Her closest ties outside the band seem to be with John; the head of the Tardis Mechanic Fan Club. Rumours abound, but most speculate John is either a love interest or her sibling.

Conclusion: Never-mind Josie & the Pussycats, Wyld Stallyns, the Ruttles or Drive Shaft. If you want a truly interesting band, this is the one to catch. Not only is the music out of this world, but the mystery which surrounds these band members is fun to follow. Who exactly is Tardis Mechanic? What is their connection to all the barely averted tragedies? How can all their ages be ridiculously inaccurate, and yet still have been around for nearly 50 years? It'll be my endeavour in the next few articles to learn the truth and uncover the mystery; if at all possible.
Written by Linda
Contributor to 'The Sun'

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